untitled (hour of sedation)

Night time, leaving the rooms late, there should be no urging, no thoughts. The quiet hours of the night, when nothing happens, only what the uncontrollable worlds of dreams unfold, in the labyrinths of desires. There are no events there, no meeting of bodies, no knowledge; none of it is communicable to you. There is the light of the illuminations, the miserable sickly yellow of the lanterns. The moment of waking in all images, everywhere stages of waiting. Why no deep, silent darkness? It should be black, silent. A senseless yet complete pause in the battle. An artificial pause for the reality that is now waiting, but which cannot be postponed. There is no night that is not a waking night. Machine vibrations near and far, background noises and noise waves in your own body, movements in half-dark rooms, light on sleeping faces, on cupboards and bags provided. Stimulus after stimulus between the ticking and flashing of devices. The lurking morning, expected and feared, sleeplessness, dance, restlessness and fear, even in motionless, neon gray night mists, salty and sticky on the skin. The expectation inherent in silence, a deformed time that tends to expand. Longing for a peace that eternally postpones the next day, its harsh light, its irredeemable demands. This nocturnal tension that already anticipates the uncertain morning, the glaring, unrelenting ray, and at the same time prayerfully wants to suppress it. Let there be rest. God’s peace - all the huts, sighs of relief and power grids atomize and rise upwards, breathing lightly. Electric light glows next to the surfaces hit by the moon’s radiance. Stars shine from eternity within reach. Sedatives, screens, texts, overcast and shimmering windows under the city’s colored cloudcover. Outside the gates, the withering fields are leching. Antidepressants, sedatives, vigilance, presence, emaciation. Machine control of all systems until the end of time. A waking in sleep. The hour when the thieves come. The hour of great danger or the hour of redemption. Both can fall into one, but the most important thing is not to be found asleep. Kill the distractions, that’s where fatigue comes from. What a dormitory in the middle of an indefinitely awakened world.